Blogger's Archives

August 2005

Monday 1 August 2005 13:35 BST (GMT+1)

Hi folks. Conceptfan here. I haven't heard from Blogger for quite a while now.

I thought I'd publish some extracts from some of the emails I received about her.

The big question, nicely summed up by one correspondent, is "Hiatus or Hi Uranus?" In other words, will Blogger be back? How should I know!?

Many people have offered theories on what could happen. This seems to cover many of the points that crop up again and again in people's messages:

"I'm a little concerned that Ultragirl deposited Blogger outside the atmosphere of earth- ie, out in space where there is no Van Allen Belt to shield her from the exponentially stronger radiation of the sun...

We all know, by now, that Blogger is utterly impervious to the sort of harm that might be inflicted upon her by hard vacuum- hell, she's probably tough enough to (easily) withstand immersion in the heart of a star- and we also know that solar radiation from our yellow sun makes her stronger and more powerful. We may soon be in the unfortunate position of finding out just how much more powerful it makes her.

Now, I know, many people aren't particularly worried- after all, she's in space, we're on the surface of a planet and she can't exactly reach out and touch us. The problem is that, in freefall, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, she could, for example, propel herself back into the atmosphere simply by spitting away from the earth at an angle that would allow her to intersect the earth's gravitational pull."

Another worried correspondent writes: "Could Ultragirl tell us if Blogger managed to take on any air before she left the atmosphere? If so, I'm scared she might use her superbreath. Even from those distances, we know that she can generate winds powerful enough to cause major climate interference. Is she capable of disturbing the Earth's orbit with a blast of her breath?"

Others have asked questions such as "What if Blogger floats close enough to the International Space Centre? What if she decided to smash her way in there?"

Perhaps what most concerns folks is this "If Blogger does find her way back down to Earth, what kind of mood will she be in?"

Wednesday 10 August 2005 16:31 BST (GMT+1)

Hello everybody!

How have you been? (Like I care!) I'm sure you're all much more interested in welcoming me back to terra firma. I've had a lovely (or should I say "out of this world") three weeks, just soaking up vast amounts of unfiltered solar radiation. And I must say, it was probably the best holiday of my life to date; so much so, in fact, that I'm sure I'll be going back, again and again. Especially as I don't need Ultragirl (or anyone else) to help me get there anymore.

Readers, you have no idea how wonderful I feel right now. You simply couldn't. Let me try and explain it in terms you lesser beings might be able to understand: twenty days ago I was amazingly, mind-blowingly powerful, as-good-as-indestructible and irresistibly beautiful. Since then, the only thing that hasn't changed is my appearance but I think that's because I was already physically perfect to begin with. My super-powers, on the other hand.... well, they're now "super-powers-squared". And I owe it all to that yellow ball of flame in the sky and its delicious, supercharging energy.

Think about it. If sunbathing on the roof of my apartment for a few hours last month made some parts of my gorgeous body a little harder (harder than diamond that is) and caused my phenomenal strength to increase slightly, then what effect do you think three weeks of constant, 24-hour-a-day bombardment by solar radiation with no atmosphere or clouds in the way would have? A big effect? Wrong! A massive effect....

You see, it's not just that I'm stronger (although I am much stronger) or even more invulnerable (yes, I'm that, too) or that my other extraordinary abilities (supersenses, superspeed, superbreath) have been boosted in a major way. All those increases have happened (more on those later). But the most remarkable effect of my little trip into space is not that ramping-up of my existing powers. It's the discovery of new powers.

Two of these new abilities, both of which centre on my eyes, are cool. Firstly, if I stare at something and concentrate, beams of pure heat energy that look like red lasers emerge from my eyes. It's easy to control and devastatingly effective. The proof of that is that I utterly vaporised a meteorite that was three times my size (metal core and all) in mere seconds just by giving it an "angry look". I can't wait to try it out on a much less heat-resistant target like, say, a person.

New power number two is less destructive but probably even more useful. I found it when I was experimenting with my "heat-vision". If I tighten the muscles behind my eyes in a slightly different way (it's hard to explain to people who don't have even a millionth of my muscle-control) then instead of producing lasers, I can actually look right through solid objects as if they weren't there! In combination with my enhanced-super-vision, it meant that I could actually see Cf playing with himself in his bath. Through the ceiling of his bathroom. And the four floors above him. And the roof of his building. And the thick storm clouds overhead. At night. Whilst I was standing on the moon. I can also use this "X-ray vision" ability to look at nice things too. And things that are supposed to be well-hidden. Secret things...

You might think that was enough, but that's nothing compared with my third new ability. You're probably wondering, how did I get to be standing on the moon when Ultragirl had just left me floating in space? More to the point, how did I get back to Earth? The answer's simple. Ladies and gentlemen, I can now fly. That's right. I can fly! Like Ultragirl! It came to me suddenly after about a week in space. One moment I was floating helplessly in the void, the next I found a way, by tensing my arms and legs a little, to hold myself completely still. I experimented for a few days, until I found I had total control. I can move in any direction, at any speed, through space. And, as I discovered this morning, it works under Earth's gravity too. Right now, I'm typing this hovering three feet above the floor. And it's effortless!

I can shoot off at extreme velocities at will. I can go slow, or even, as I just mentioned, I can pause motionless in the air. I can turn the tightest of corners and angles at any speed, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down... any way I want. And it doesn't even make me tired. I got from my original position about two hundred miles from Earth, to the surface of the moon in a minute. Then I went from there to Mars in quarter of an hour...

Yes, I could have come home two weeks ago. But I was having too much fun and the sun felt so lovely up there, I decided to stay a while longer. I was also fascinated by the way my existing powers were becoming more and more effective. Walking around naked on the surface of Venus, I barely even felt the crushing forces attacking my body. I got close enough to the sun to be completely engulfed by a particularly violent flare which just seemed a little warm to me. I left a perfect impression of my perfect body on the surface of Mercury merely by lying down on my belly and pushing ever so gently downwards, my large ultra-firm round breasts turning the solid rock to space dust without me having to exert even a hundredth of my strength.

Between Mars and Jupiter, I caught a passing meteor (it was about fifty times bigger than me) with one hand, cancelling out its momentum without realising what I'd done. Then I drew my arm back and casually tossed it towards a distant planet (Neptune I think). The huge ball of rock shot away from me incredibly fast and didn't stop till it eventually impacted hours later, dissolving into pieces once it had made a huge, huge crater. To celebrate, I signed my name with one finger deep into the crust of Mars and used my new heat-vision to destroy a couple of abandoned NASA vehicles on the moon as I flew past.

But I had to come home in the end. Firstly, I wanted to see if along with my super-sight, my super-hearing had also improved and I couldn't do that in the vacuum of space. Also, not having drawn a breath for three weeks, my lungs were empty and I wanted to test my superbreath too. But most of all, I wanted to show off my new abilities. So I flew back, faster than any puny rocket-ship, this morning.

The first thing I did when I re-entered the atmosphere, was take a deep breath. And then exhale it. I didn't even try and blow with any force. But it was enough to clear a tropical island fifty thousand feet below me of all its trees, rocks and soil. Clearly my superbreath has also been boosted. The next thing was my hearing. And yes, that too is better than before. I can hear a heartbeat from a hundred miles away if I concentrate!

Anyway, that's about it from me today. I want to go out and try out my new abilities (and my enhanced old ones) on Earth. And sooner or later, I'm going to have to pay a couple of visits to some old friends. Firstly, there's Cf, who described me as his "tormentress". If he thought I was scary last month, he should see me now (he will, don't worry). Then, there's Ultragirl. I should thank her for taking me beyond the atmosphere to where the sun could really supercharge me. But I know she was actually trying to kill me. One good turn deserves another, if you know what I mean....

Look out, Earth. Here I come!

Thursday 11 August 2005 13:08 BST (GMT+1)

Being able to fly is great! There are so many things that I can do now that I couldn't before. So many new ways to have fun. It's been a ball since I got back to Earth.

I spent a couple of hours playing with little private jets yesterday. They're so slow and clumsy in the air compared to me. I can catch up with them with the smallest burst of speed, fly rings around them and shoot past them with total ease. It's hilarious when I'm flying right alongside the cockpit and I can see the shock on the pilot's face as I smile and wave.

OK, OK so I got a bit too friendly with a couple of them but I have to experiment with my new powers somehow and besides, thanks to my wonderful X-ray vision abilities, I was able to check the inside of each one and verify that it was only men I was hurting, so it doesn't really count.

I was playing tag with one of those two unlucky pilots. I kept flying underneath or above him and veering into his path so that he had to dive or turn sharply to avoid me. Each time I would steer myself into his way, pretending to just stand in mid-air with my hands on my hips and my big, super-firm chest thrust out for maximum effect. On the last occasion, I overestimated the pilot's ability to evade me and the plane just ploughed right into the front of my body and exploded.

To be honest, I barely felt the impact or the aircraft crumpling up against my abdomen and my breasts. The explosion was a little warm, but nothing even vaguely approaching uncomfortable. The red-hot metal fragments that hit me hardly even tickled. It just reminded me how totally invulnerable I am now.

The other pilot that couldn't cope with me actually succumbed to a heart attack. He was fine when I flew alongside him and winked, and OK when I sat on his nose-cone right in front of his cockpit, my long legs straddling the tip of his plane. When I bent in slowly and planted a slow, sensuous kiss on the windshield, his pulse accelerated dramatically. All I did was pull off my T-shirt and press my nipples into the glass, instantly shattering it before continuing to lean forward until my bare breasts touched his face. Just that gentle contact was enough to make his heart explode. I left him and his machine to spiral down to the sea.

Oh what joy! Now it's time for me to take care of a little inner need that had built up all the time I was up in space. I'll have to be very, very careful with my newly-increased strength or else I'll make a nasty mess out of whatever man/men I chose to bestow with the honour of intimacy with me. I wouldn't want to do that. Not before I satisfy myself, anyway.

Friday 12 August 2005 15:45 BST (GMT+1)

As you know by now, it's never been hard for me to find a lover. I'm stunningly gorgeous and irresistibly sexy, after all. Besides, I'm millions (probably billions now) of times stronger than the average man so I've always just helped myself to whatever I've fancied.

But now that I can fly and see through the roofs below me, it's even easier (and more fun) to pick a male for sex. I just hover over the city, looking down using my X-ray vision to peel away the walls and ceilings and make my selection. It's like the whole world is my private supermarket.

I spent a few hours yesterday just cruising the skies, diving down through concrete or tiled roofs every time I saw a decent-looking man. I'd come crashing down in a shower of brick and plaster into their bedrooms, bathrooms, living rooms or offices, brush myself off and proceed to have my way with my invariably astonished and terrified choice of partner.

If they tried to run from me, I'd fly after them, catching them in seconds, tearing their clothes off and using my legendary charms to get them ready for me. If they didn't run I'd give them a few seconds to remove their own clothes before I would start to tear.

During my four-hour spree I managed to pleasure myself with a total of twenty-three different guys. Most I just pushed onto the ground on their backs, straddling them as I lowered myself onto them. Four or five, I took standing up, holding them with one hand on their rears and the other behind their upper backs, raising and lowering them into and out of me.

With two of them, I experimented. I kept them standing and floated off the ground, wrapping my legs around them. Then I used my new powers of flight to ride up and down. It was a completely novel experience and I really enjoyed it. The same couldn't be said for my lovers, however. They both suffered severe gashes where my engorged nipples scrapped their chests.

Overall, however, I was surprised by how little damage I caused my temporary "friends" considering my newly-increased strength. I kept a running score throughout of course. The final tally was: eighteen broken bones, four amputations (three minor: just fingers caught between my breasts and one major: a leg when I got a bit carried away). Besides the two badly gashed chests there was plenty of severe and less severe bruising and, amazingly, only one fatality (my chest crushed his ribs as I held him close when I orgasmed). Not bad for a morning's work.

Naturally, twenty-three men hardly makes up for three celibate weeks in outer space, but it's a start.

Tuesday 16 August 2005 15:25 BST (GMT+1)

Yes, I had a great weekend. No, I'm not at all concerned to know how yours was.

I was watching TV on Friday evening. Well, to be more precise I was watching the TV in a flat on the other side of the street. My new X-ray vision meant I got a perfect view of the screen through three brick walls (two of them reinforced with steel bars) and my extra-enhanced powers of hearing pulled the sound (with background noises tuned out) clearly to my ears. Not that I'm short of money, but my expanded powers will save a fortune on electricity bills!

Anyway, the programme I was viewing in that unorthodox manner was a nature documentary about birds of prey. I'm not really interested in lower forms of life like birds, cats, fish or men, but there was loads of footage of eagles seizing mice from the ground and it did grab my attention for a minute or so. The birds seemed to be complete masters of earth and sky and the rodents appeared to be pretty hopeless creatures, stuck on the ground and utterly at the eagles' mercy. It reminded me of my own dominance over the world around me.

Of course, I had to go out and try it for myself. At six in the morning I was flying over some hills outside town (it took precisely one minute to fly the twenty miles.) It's a popular spot with walkers and I quickly spotted a suitable target for my experimentation. He was mid-twenties with a large backpack. Just because I could, I examined its contents in detail from my station two thousand feet up. Nothing of interest was in there, though.

I swooped down on the fellow, remembering at the last moment to slow down as I didn't want to smash him against the rocky ground with displaced air. Nonetheless, he had no idea what was going on when I grabbed him by the back of the neck with my left hand and soared back into the sky. I know that because he yelled "Hey! What's going on? Oh my god! Oh shit!"

I must say that I didn't notice his weight (and that of his backpack) as I climbed to about two thousand feet up. Once up there, I stopped, hovering above the distant hill below as I turned my cargo around to face me. Despite his bulkiness, he was extremely easy to manoeuvre. He looked at me in shock whilst I just smiled.

"Put me down!" he spluttered.

"That's no way to speak to a goddess." I told him. He looked at me in confusion, then glanced at the six-hundred yards of empty air between his feet and the ground and then back up at me (pausing for a long, long moment at my chest before his gaze made it to my face).

"Please, oh mighty Goddess! I beg you to take me safely back to ground."

"Better." I said, remaining completely stationary.

"Great Goddess of the sky, please forgive my unworthiness. Your power and beauty are beyond the ability of a mere mortal like myself to describe. I humbly beseech you to grant me my wish to be returned to the ground."

I could see the earnestness in his eyes. He truly meant every word. He was so helpless, so pathetic hanging from my grasp. I dropped quickly downwards, the speed of the descent making his face go green immediately. I stopped abruptly when I was about ten feet up and, with a bored look on my face, opened the fingers of my left hand.

Without my amazing strength holding him in the air, he instantly fell the short distance to the ground. He landed awkwardly with a yell. I used my X-ray vision to confirm what I thought I had heard: the fall had broken his leg. And I had been planning to drop him from a much greater height!

He shouted something up to me about please helping him and calling an ambulance, but I'd had enough of him by then and I was already on my way, shooting upwards through the clouds.

Wednesday 17 August 2005 16:52 BST (GMT+1)

Well, my life certainly has changed a bit since I got back to Earth!

I used to take day trips, usually by train. I could have run to the coast (or wherever) much faster than any man-made machine, but a girl (especially a girl as undeniably beautiful as me) running at 250 miles per hour can't really hope to keep a low profile. So I used to take the train. An hour to the coast. Even longer to go elsewhere...

This morning, I opened the window, checked the street to make sure no-one was looking, floated up off the floor and just flew out. I went straight up, knowing that I can't be spotted by normal people once I'm a couple of thousand feet above them. Leisurely, I turned in the air and headed towards the sea.

I took my time, taking in the sights, using my X-ray powers to see inside the buildings below me, laughing to myself at all the pathetic people. I know I could have gone maybe ten or more times faster and yet within ten minutes I was over the coast. The same journey that used to take over sixty minutes!

On a whim, I changed direction. With my lithe, superpowered body, I can turn in the air even more easily than on my feet. Now I was headed North. As I had nothing better to do I kept on going until, less than a quarter of an hour (and 650 miles) later, I was soaring over the Highlands.

That's when my keen hearing detected the distinctive noise of a helicopter engine. I rotated to face its source and, employing my superhuman eyesight, managed not only to spot the chopper fifteen miles away, but also to read the words "Mountain Rescue" painted on it. It had to be looking for some poor lost climber. I did what any superhuman would do, and flew towards it.

Just a tiny, easy burst of speed brought me next to the rescue craft in seconds, even though it had been travelling away from me. On the way, I happened, by pure chance, to spot the stranded climber on the ground. (No surprise that my unaided eyesight is a lot better than a professional using the latest in binoculars.)

I thought about swooping down and grabbing the guy on the mountain, but changed my mind. I already did that (on Saturday). So I ignored him, and concentrated on the helicopter. I flew beneath it and reached up, taking hold of one of its landing skis with each hand.

Experimentally, I stopped flying and hovered still, keeping my fingers firmly gripping the flying machine. I heard the engine whine overhead, and the panicked shouting of the two men inside, but I didn't feel any strain at all as I effortlessly held the thing immobile, despite the best efforts of its engines to move forwards.

I tried flying in different directions, zigzagging, stopping suddenly then restarting and going sharply up and down. Whatever I tried to do, the helicopter had to do with me. My grip on it, my strength and my flight powers were all far too much for its noisy motors to resist. To be honest, moving that rescue craft was as easy as waving a piece of paper in the air. (But you would probably get tired doing that, whereas I never tire.)

I toyed with the helicopter in that way for about ten minutes. But, even the newest, shiniest, most expensive toy gets boring after a while. I found a nice, jagged, exposed peak and placed the chopper down on it. Of course, with its engine still running, it started to lift off immediately.

I flew out from under the machine and around it. You should have heard (and seen) the reaction of its two-man crew as I passed by the windshield and waved at them! Anyway, I floated over the top of the craft and with one hand extended over the hub of the blades, pushed it back on to the rocky peak with ease. I let go and it started to rise again, so I pushed it back down and held it firmly in place, this time using only my extended middle finger.

I realised I couldn't stay there all day waiting for the fuel to run out. I had two choices: let the helicopter go or stop it going anywhere once and for all. Thinking for a moment about the guy the chopper crew had been trying to rescue, I thought it would be funny to take the second option. So, I gripped the hub tightly, my fingertips cracking the so-called high-strength material. Then I pulled my arm back sharply.

With a crack and a brief, metallic scream, the blades and the assembly they were mounted on tore off the roof of the helicopter. I tossed them over my shoulder. Judging by the length of time that elapsed before I heard the clatter of their landing, they must have missed the rocky peak we were on and crashed down a thousand feet or more below.

I called down through the new hole in the roof "I hope you boys have got walking boots on! I'd stay and chat, but I've got to fly. Oh, and, by the way, you know that guy you're looking for? He's about a mile-and-a-half south-west of here." As soon as I'd finished speaking I took off for the sky. I heard them shouting "Wait! Come back! Don't leave us here!" before I stopped bothering to listen.

Thirty minutes later, I having a nice, relaxing bath at home, using another of my new powers (heat-vision) to keep the water at a pleasant, bubbly 100 degrees centigrade. Ah, it's great being me!

Thursday 18 August 2005 17:48 BST (GMT+1)

Today, I've spent quite a bit of time experimenting with my new heat vision.

It's pretty amazing. It's probably only because I've been so absorbed with now being able to fly that I haven't been playing with it more. I mean, it's extremely powerful, controllable and accurate. Let me explain:

Powerful: I turned a ninety foot tall steel radio transmitter tower weighing probably a hundred tons into a four-foot deep puddle of glowing, steaming molten liquid in around thirty seconds. I just blasted it with my heat rays, slowly lowering my gaze as I melted the massive construction from the top down. When I was finished, a quick blast of cool superbreath turned the pooled steel solid once gain in an instant. And no, the effort didn't leave me feeling in the slightest bit tired. But it'll be one hell of a job to deal with the big block of smooth-edged steel I left behind!

Controllable: As well as the extreme heat I used to melt the transmitter, I can use my heat vision to generate just about any temperature I want. I tried it on some very delicate white fabric which I dipped in the bath and then, carefully, dried off in seconds merely by looking at it severely. I know that anything over about 60 degrees centigrade would have left burn marks, so I must have warmed the fabric to around 50 degrees. Any temperature (and I mean any) between that around 5000 Centigrade is no problem for me.

Accurate: Standing on the ground and tilting my head back, I was watching a small private jet flying overhead at a height of around ten thousand feet. By aiming with care, I was able to use my heat vision to puncture the tyre on one of its wheels without in any way affecting the rest of the little plane. The pilot wouldn't have known a thing about it until he landed a little wobbly...

Friday 19 August 2005 17:24 BST (GMT+1)

It was miserable and raining in town this morning, so I decided to go to a less wet place.

Once that would have meant hours of boring waiting around with ordinary people in an airport, but not any more! At ten o'clock I made the decision to split town. By ten thirty, I was somewhere where it never rains.... the surface of the moon.

It was a lovely trip. As soon as I cleared the atmosphere, I felt the warmth of the sun seeping into my body, energising every single cell. I always feel great, but out there, in open space, away from the shielding effects of the ionosphere, I feel, well... totally super. Powerful beyond most people's ability to imagine. Unstoppable. Indestructible. Mighty. Perhaps that's because I am.

Anyway, I was strolling around on the sunny side of the moon, soaking up the rays, when I spotted something in the distance. Something familiar. I flew the thirty miles to the object in a second. I couldn't help smiling. There I was, standing right next to an abandoned NASA buggy. I've seen plenty of pictures, but it's another thing to touch something supposedly so permanently out of people's reach.

There was a set of footprints leading from the buggy. I remembered hearing how prints on the moon will never be erased. It just so happened that I hadn't exhaled since leaving Earth's atmosphere. I couldn't resist leaning forward, pursing my lips and gently letting out a steady stream of superbreath. I blew up a cloud of moon-dust that had lain undisturbed for millennia. It settled back down, completely hiding the prints.

One giant leap for mankind, one easy puff for me!

Tuesday 23 August 2005 15:56 BST (GMT+1)

"X-ray vision". The ability to see through stuff to the things behind it. Like through a man's jeans to see the erection I've given him merely by being so wonderfully sexy...

It's a pretty useful power. Not only does it let me examine things no-one else can (like in the example above) and observe stuff I'm not supposed to observe (again, see the example above) but it also lets me spot things that people don't want spotted. Things hidden behind walls or inside boxes (or under clothes).

Coupled with my amazing powers of flight, however, it becomes something else. I can see right through the roofs beneath me and study the contents of buildings. And not just low buildings like houses and factories. For example, hovering in the clouds directly above a skyscraper on Monday morning, I was able to scan the thirty-five storey building floor by floor, reading the documents stored in filing cabinets at superspeed as well as checking out the contents of every adult male's underpants.

It's awesome being able to do that. But it's even more awesome when my wonderful eyes reveal things buried underground. Sometimes, very deep underground. You see people, and especially governments, love to hide stuff under the ground. The more they want to hide something, the deeper they bury it. If it's really, really secret, they stick it beneath, say, a hundred yards of solid rock. That way, they can be sure that no-one will ever see it (or even know that anything was hidden there).

No-one, that is, except me. I can see a coin buried twenty feet under a meadow as I fly overhead, above the clouds. I can see "secret" subterranean bomb-shelters fifty feet beneath an office block when I'm standing on the moon. So it was absolutely no challenge at all for me to "discover" an enormous cavern, which must have been blasted out of solid rock, a quarter-of-a-mile beneath a seemingly desolate plain.

What really caught my attention wasn't just the size of the subterranean chamber. It was the fact that it was in the middle of nowhere, connected to the world via an impressive network of deep tunnels which ran for miles in several directions. It must have taken hundreds of workers years to build. I knew at once that it had to be something very important and very, very secret.

As I looked more closely from my station high in the overcast sky above, I spotted at least thirty uniformed men scattered in the huge chamber and in the tunnels leading to it. Most intriguingly, I counted five figures clad in long white laboratory coats moving about. I'd found some kind of military scientific installation that someone had gone to great lengths to hide from the world... and it was as clear as day to me!

Anyway, I'm going to do a little more investigation and observation. I get the feeling that there's a good time to be had down there, but I'd like to find out more first. Luckily, I know just who to ask...

Wednesday 24 August 2005 17:15 BST (GMT+1)

I have to admit. I don't miss airports or airplane-travel one little bit.

Yesterday evening, I visited an old flame in Moscow. I got to his apartment in about as much time as it used to take me to get through the airport, check in, hang around with all the "ordinary" people in Departures and board a plane. Lovely!

A little background: I first met Yuri when I was 16. He was a Soviet agent who'd just been rumbled. I was walking by his building when my sensitive ears picked up a whispered conversation amongst some intelligence servicemen about to raid his flat. Naturally, being a curious teenager (whose super-powers had recently fully developed) I couldn't help getting involved.

To cut a long story short, I was inexperienced and didn't handle the situation very well. One of the MI6 men had a gun. It was one of the first times I got shot and, being that age, I got lost in the pleasure of taking a bullet (or four) in the chest. Eventually, another agent got hit in the head with a ricochet. Anyway, it ended up with the two surviving intelligence guys and Yuri all naked and tied to a sofa with a length of steel cabling I tore off the window cleaner's moveable balcony.

Being so young, and so turned on my having my breasts caressed with hot lead, I couldn't help myself raping the three of them repetitively. By the time I had calmed my libido enough to think properly, only the Russian was left breathing (although I did knock out all of his teeth with my tongue.) Worried about having the whole of MI6 after me, I did a deal with Yuri, whereby I let him go, and he used his experience to make it look as if he had killed the others.

That was the last time I'd seen him until yesterday. I got his address a while back from a guy at the embassy who was happy to furnish me with a ton of useful information in return for his life (I pinned him to a wall and squeezed his thorax to breaking point by leaning my chest into him).

So, I popped over to Moscow for a visit. You should have seen Yuri's face as I flew through his living room window in a shower of shattered glass and wood!

"You!" he said. "I always knew I'd see you again. You've hardly changed at all... But, you can fly now! God help us all!"

I laughed and picked him up by the throat with my left hand, letting his feet dangle by my ankles.

"No... please... Why.. are... you... hurting... me?.." he choked. "The.. Cold... War.. is... over... We... are... friends... now..."

"This is how I treat all my friends." I told him, before adding "I need information."

"What... do... you.... want... to... know?..." he gasped. I told him all about the "secret" underground base I found. I could tell from his heartbeat that he knew what I was talking about, but he denied it at first so I had to use my free hand to crush his wrist to make him talk.

Through his tears, and occasional yelps of agony, he was eventually able to give me what I needed. After that, I pushed him down onto the floor, tore his clothes off and straddled him, for old times' sake. I was careful though, making sure he was still alive when I left. I want him to warn whoever's in charge at that installation. I want them ready for me. That way, it'll be all the more enjoyable when I pay them a visit.

Thursday 25 August 2005 17:19 BST (GMT+1)

Today's been another day set aside for preparation work.

I know what you're thinking. Something along these lines: Hey, Blogger, you're so powerful, so strong and so invulnerable (not to mention indescribably beautiful and sexy beyond all comprehension), why don't you just smash your way into that underground installation and just take it from there.

Well, sure, I could do that. It's not like there's any possibility that there might be something down there that could hurt me. Even before my recent "sojourn" in outer space, I laughed off a nuke exploding between my thighs, and now, as everyone knows, I much more powerful than I was back then.

No, it's not fear that's holding me back. These days, thanks to my flight powers, there's nothing (and I do mean nothing) in the universe that frightens me. It's just that I like to know exactly what I'm dealing with before I deal with it. I want to know just how deadly whatever-it-is is, how many thousand square miles it will effect and, much, much more importantly, what's the best outfit to wear for the occasion. I want to be in total control over everything.

With that in mind, I spent this morning tracking down two of the world's top weapons biochemists. The first lived in Florida (about one-and-a-half hours leisurely flight for me). I say "lived" not "lives" because, well, he doesn't "live" anywhere anymore. Unfortunately, he refused to talk, no matter what I tried. In the end, I experimented with a mixture of physical pain and sexual over-stimulation. The result was a failure; his heart gave out.

I'm not sure if that was because he couldn't take the agony or because I made him orgasm ten times in as many minutes. Actually, it wasn't a complete failure: I didn't get any information, but I did have an awful lot of fun while it lasted.

The next guy is based quite close to me. He was a total pushover; an ageing recluse with a weakness for cleavage. Once I'd crushed his wandering fingers to pulp in the valley of my chest and made it clear which other parts of his body were due to follow, he was surprisingly co-operative. In fact, he told me more than I needed. In the end, he wouldn't shut up until I told him I would let him lick his blood off my breasts. For a laugh, I trapped his tongue in there and gave it a good squeeze. That should stop him talking so much in future...

Now I think I know everything about that place and what's in it. Hopefully, Yuri will have warned them that I might be popping in, so they'll be ready to welcome me. I can hardly wait!

Friday 26 August 2005 16:37 BST (GMT+1)

Well, I'm almost set now for my little weekend trip.

Just a few final checks to make, such as an accurate weather forecast for the area I'm going to be visiting. Not than any thunderstorm, hurricane or similar phenomenon affects me in any way, but I do need to know exactly which direction the wind will be blowing from and how strong.

If I'm right (and I'm always right) then the stuff I'm going to be messing with will have quite an effect on the surrounding area. If the wind carries it in the direction of a town, it could be quite messy. Of course, I'll be absolutely fine whatever happens, so it's not that serious.

At least I have something to wear. A nice little custom number. I made it myself out of a steel girder I borrowed from a building site last night. I suppose I shouldn't have ripped out a girder that was already in use, but the collapse of the three-story half-finished building onto my head didn't hurt, so no harm done.

I flattened the steel to a few millimetres' thickness between my palms (it was totally effortless, but for the noise the metal made as I squeezed it, you'd think steel wasn't meant to be compressed that way.) Once I had a nice thin sheet I pressed it against my body, letting my generous curves deform the metal until it was a snug fit. Then I tore off the excess (easy as tearing paper for me) and smoothed them with my fingertips.

I was left with a lovely, fetching, two piece steel bikini that should stand up to whatever it needs to face. Needless to say, I look incredible in it. I can't wait to model it for all those soldiers and scientists at that installation. It'll be the last thing many of them will ever see, but me in a bikini has to be the most glorious sight in the universe, so I'm sure they'll appreciate how very lucky they are.

That's enough chatter for now. I'll be back with a full report in a couple of days. Oh, and don't worry about me. I'll be fine. That's for certain.

Tuesday 30 August 2005 17:42 BST (GMT+1)

They say that both heaven and hell can be found here on Earth. After last weekend, I wouldn't disagree.

My little trip to Central Asia went almost exactly as planned. Much of what I hoped to find was there. A warm (well, red-hot) reception featuring the latest military hardware and lots of stupid men. An enjoyably one-sided battle. And a beautifully intense moment of sheer physical joy. "Heaven" for me.

As for "hell"... Well, it probably wasn't as much fun for all the guys I encountered. Then again, they were only men. The important thing is that I had a great time. I love being so powerful! I'll tell you all about it next time.

One final thing. To the shy spectator who was watching me on Sunday (you know who you are): Have you forgotten that my eyesight is truly awesome these days? Of course I saw you! Why didn't you join in with the fun instead of trying to remain "unseen"? And... um... have you slimmed down again? (You looked good, you know, damn good.)

Wednesday 31 August 2005 17:47 BST (GMT+1)

So, you'd like to know all about my little trip abroad, would you?

It's just as well I'm in the mood to tell you then, isn't it, as there's no way on Earth that you could make me if I didn't want to. That's one of the great things about being this powerful.

Another couple of great things are being able to fly and having X-ray vision. That's what allowed me to see all the "secret" and "camouflaged" military hardware that was "defending" the installation when I was still miles away. I was pleased to note that, since my first flyby the other week, the number of soldiers underground and antiaircraft weapons "hidden" on the surface had significantly increased. Good old Yuri had obviously warned the top brass of my imminent arrival...

For a while, I toyed with the idea of ignoring all the extra men and equipment and just diving headfirst through the ground at supersonic speed. That would have taken me to the heart of the hidden underground base before anyone could have reacted to my presence. It would have been an excellent demonstration of my crushing superiority, but not much fun.

Instead, I pulled up to a stop in mid-air, hovering perfectly still about two hundred feet above the ground. My home-made steel two-piece outfit survived the flight intact, and I was looking, if anything, even more stunning than usual as I "stood" in the sky. As I had hoped, a barrage of antiaircraft fire rose up to greet me. I didn't move an inch as the hail of oversized, armour-piercing bullets pinged off the soles of my feet and my chin.

Quite a few shots smacked noisily into the underside of my metal bikini, only slightly indenting the thick steel. Inside that custom garment, I could just about feel the impacts. Nice, but nowhere near enough. Wanting to make the most of the continuing stream of bullets, I moved my feet apart whilst continuing to "stand". This allowed a number of bullets to hit the crotch of my metal knickers. Once again, they marked but failed to breach the steel.

On the spur of the moment, I made a quick wardrobe adjustment. I reached down between my legs to where the slugs were bouncing off my "knickers". Some shots hit my hand, causing much less damage than they did to the steel. Extending my middle finger, I pushed it into and through the solid metal, my digit penetrating the steel so much more effectively than the bullets were. In no time at all, I was touching my intimacy. I removed my finger, wiggling it to enlarge the hole I'd made in my knickers. Now I was wearing crotchless steel underwear.

Of course, this meant that a lot of antiaircraft fire actually rebounded off the entrance to my sex. Sure, none of it was powerful enough to properly penetrate me unless I deliberately relaxed my inner muscles. So that's what I did, allowing plenty of hot, speeding lead to enter me. The feeling was so pleasant, my nipples hardened and expanded in response, almost poking through the tightly-moulded, quarter-inch-thick steel covering them.

Someone on the ground must have noticed that, despite being hit hundreds of times a second, I was not falling from the sky. A Whoosh! sound nearby distracted my from the sensation of my aroused nipples burrowing into steel of their own accord. I looked down in time to see a black-and-yellow-painted surface-to-air missile shooting towards me. It was about as long as my leg, if slightly thicker (and nowhere near as beautifully sculptured.)

I could easily have moved out of it way, but I chose to hold my position and let the rocket's nose-cone crumple up against my left hip before the rest of it exploded, showering me in shards of red-hot, razor-sharp metal. It wasn't much of a shower: brief and unrefreshing. I allowed a second missile to detonate against my knee with similarly underwhelming results, suppressing my desire to yawn with boredom.

When I spotted the third rocket headed my way, I couldn't resist floating a little to the side and opening my thighs, carefully aligning myself with the oncoming weapon. The very tip of it passed through the hole in my knickers and actually parted my nether lips by about an eighth of an inch before it got stuck. Then, before the metal casing could properly begin to wad up against me, the missile blew.

The discrete opening I'd made in my underwear was widened considerably by the explosion. The remaining parts of my steel knickers were heated to glowing, as huge volumes of shrapnel slammed against the edges of my sex. A couple of smaller bits of red-hot metal found their way inside me until I contracted my vaginal muscles, squeezing them completely out of existence.

As the smoke cleared from my body, I called down "Is that all you've got for me?" but I doubt anyone heard. No matter. Seconds after my shout had echoed away through the apparently deserted landscape, the sound of approaching fighter jets reached my sensitive ears.

I'll tell you how I secured complete control of the sky next time.