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Encyclopaedia Bloggerica

A List of Definitions of the World According to Blogger
 
Word/Term Definition
agony The sensation experienced by a man when I touch him without remembering to be ridiculously careful.
arm Part of my body.  Identical in appearance to a normal person if unusually shapely, and desirably long.  Unlike a normal person's, each of my slender arms is capable of effortlessly supporting hundreds of tons of weight.  When held straight out and used as a barrier, nothing on Earth can dislodge one of my arms.
atomic bomb Hard-to-come-by sex toy. Reasonably effective when detonated between my legs. If used in an inappropriate location, side-effects include substantial collateral damage.
attraction The mysterious force that causes males within range of me to lose their will and give up their freedom and ultimately their health.  In exchange for this sacrifice, I get a few moments of pleasure.
breast Part of my body.  Large, round, organs that are irresistible to any male, whether bound, free, clothed or bare.  Slightly compressible and moveable to me, uncompressible and unmoveable to others. By far the softest part of my body, therefore only approximately five million times harder than any part of the male body.  Hence frequently responsible for injuries such as crushed or broken ribs, broken noses etc. See also nipple and cleavage.
bullet Small metal projectile, fired from a gun.  Can kill ordinary people.  Crumples like aluminium foil against my skin without leaving a mark, sometimes causing very mild pleasure, but usually not even tickling.  See also gun.
cleavage Part of my body.  The space between my breasts.  Probably the most erotic zone on Earth.  Also the centre of the most powerful crusher on the planet, responsible for the compression and mashing of countless solid objects such as small rocks or tank cannons as well as non-solid objects such as parts of male bodies.  See also breast and tank.
consideration Important concept in relations between other people.  Essential for other people relating to me.  Totally irrelevant to my dealings with other people.
crunch A particularly satisfying sound made by a man's bone or bones being reduced to powder when I gently squeeze them.
desperation State of mind applicable, for many possible reasons, to males in my vicinity.  Can refer to the overwhelming desire to touch my body or to escape my grasp.
exhalation In others, an aspect of the respiratory system essential to survival which creates a tiny, barely perceptible movement of air.  In me, a purely voluntary act which can cause an exceptionally powerful movement of wind, strong enough to tear buildings from their foundations and scatter men like confetti.
eyesight Physical ability.  As with all beings, the faculty of sight or vision also referring to range of vision.   As with all physical abilities, mine is many thousand of times more effective than the norm:  I can see any object of any size as far as the horizon in any lighting conditions, including almost complete darkness.
fragility Physical attribute of all other beings that causes them to break when they come into contact with me.  See also invulnerability.
gun A noisy weapon much loved by men. Totally ineffective against me, but can create a mildly pleasant sensation when used on certain parts of my body.  See also bullet.
gym An institution where I can find pleasant-looking male subjects for my enjoyment.
grenade A bomb or explosive missile that is detonated by a fuse and thrown by hand or fired from a launcher.  Lethal for any normal people within range of its detonation, its compact size makes it ideal for insertion into my cleavage to cause mildly pleasurable stimulation of my breasts on explosion.  See also cleavage and breast.
imperfect Adjective meaning not perfect, defective or inadequate.  Applicable to every living being on Earth.  Apart from me.
invulnerability Physical attribute that allows me to go anywhere or do anything without the slightest possibility of experiencing even the slightest discomfort.  See also fragility.
little finger Part of my body. (Digitus minimus). The smallest and "weakest" of my fingers.  Nevertheless capable of flipping an armoured vehicle over with a mere twitch.  See also tank.
lips Part of my body.  Two fleshy folds that surround the opening of my mouth.  As well as being exceptionally well-formed and erotically full, my lips possess sufficient strength to compress a solid steel block until it vaporises.  Also used to channel my breath with pin-point accuracy.  See also exhalation.
man A weak, inferior creature with little apparent use other than an extremely modest form of sexual gratification.  See also people.
muscle Part of the body.  Large and pleasant-looking in some males, but utterly ineffective.  More subtle in appearance on me, but billions of times more powerful.
nipple Part of my body.  Responsible for loss of countless male teeth and severe chest contusions.  Normally harder than diamond.  When aroused, several hundred times harder still.  See also breast.
people Living beings resembling me, although imperfectly, whose lives and bodies can provide me with amusement and gratification.  See also man.
pinkie See little finger.
play-doh Soft modelling clay much loved by children.  Oozes through a child's fingers exactly the same way that solid metal oozes through mine when I effortlessly squeeze it.
scream The sound a man makes whenever I don't caress him gently enough.
steel Soft, pliable metal which oozes pleasantly through my fingers when I squeeze it. Thought to be "extremely hard", "virtually unbreakable" and "strong" by normal people.
strength Physical attribute.  The ability to generate force with the body and to resist stresses.   Mine is virtually unlimited.  See also arms, lips, little finger, play-doh, steel, tank, unbreakable etc.
sun Comfortably warm celestial body.  Lengthy exposure to its radiation is harmful to other people but makes me feel good and seems to be stimulating in unpredictable ways when intensified.
tank Heavily armoured tracked military vehicle, typically with large calibre cannon and machine guns.  Typically weighing in the region of 40-70 tonnes, inspiring great fear in normal people, but just another plaything for me. Uses could include casually preventing it from moving with one finger, crushing the cannon with the softest parts of my body, and lifting and tossing it like an empty cardboard box when I'm done playing.  See also little finger and cleavage.
terror The emotion felt by a male in my presence once his inferior brain has finally comprehended my infinitely superior power.  See also agony, scream, yell and  fragility.
unbreakable Adjective incorrectly applied to materials and objects which crumble effortlessly to dust in my hands.  More aptly used to describe any part of my body.
yell The sound made by a man when I make contact with his fragile body using more than 0.00000001% of my strength.

 

 

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